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Deciding whether to tell someone about what happened can be a big step—and there’s no single right way to do it. In this guide, we’ve explored how to decide if you want to share, who feels safe to tell, and how to prepare for the conversation.
We’ve looked at ways to keep control of your story, set boundaries, and care for yourself before and after sharing. Whatever stage you’re at, remember: your story belongs to you, and you get to decide when, how, and with whom to share it.
As we reach the end of this guide, here are a few points to hold onto.
It’s okay to take your time—feeling ready matters more than timing.
You’re in control of what you share, and who you share it with.
You can set boundaries, change your mind, or stop at any point.
Not everyone will react as you hope, but that doesn’t change what’s true.
Caring for yourself before, during, and after sharing is part of healing.
You’ve done something brave by exploring this topic. Even reading about it can bring up strong feelings. However you decide to move forward, give yourself credit for taking the time to reflect and care for yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and we don’t have to face it alone—support is always here when needed.
As we reach the end of this guide, here are a few points to hold onto.
If you’d like to learn more or find extra support, we’ve gathered a few resources that might help you to continue healing at your own pace.
Resources are organised in alphabetical order.
Chayn is a global nonprofit making healing accessible for all survivors of gender-based violence. All our online resources are co-created with or informed by volunteers and survivors, to make sure that they are survivor-centred and encompass diverse perspectives from around the world. If you’d like to support us, there are many ways you can do that.
If you found this guide helpful and feel comfortable sharing it, then just choose one of these options.
Find out how you can sign up to join our volunteering team or make other contributions on our dedicated Get involved page.
We’d love to hear what you think of this guide. Your feedback helps us keep improving.
We would like to give our thanks for use of the following resources in creating this guide:
RAINN: Telling Loved Ones About Sexual Assault
Why Many People Don't Talk About Traumatic Events Until Long After They Occur
Chayn is made up of a team of survivors and allies.
© 2025+ Chayn CIO.
This guide is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International Licence.
You are free to share and adapt this work, provided you give appropriate credit and indicate if changes were made.
